Abigail Ruth graced our presence on September 12, 2003! Her name actually means "My Father's Joy," and the depth of that meaning is close to our hearts.
Abigail has a special sensitivity to the needs of those around her and has a Spiritual understanding that goes beyond her years. She is a nurturer... She is a servant... She is patient... She is kind... Just a few words I have to describe the joy that she is.
She is very patient like her dad and definitely is his joy!
She also very much reflects the face and joy of her Father in Heaven!
One morning when she was about 4 (likely the age she is in this above picture), she was bounding off our front porch steps and with a big sniff of the air said, "I just LOOOVE the smell of RAIN!" I giggled to myself as I looked at the clear blue sky with no rain in sight. I thought, "Silly girl!" Hours later, that afternoon... it rained. And as I recall, it rained a BUNCH! To this day, Abigail has a great fascination about weather and like many kids in Snyder, Texas prays for rain every day! She never gives up hope that God will answer that prayer. She looks expectantly at the radar on our computer EVERY SINGLE DAY! -Not just once a day either. It might would wear us out, if it weren't so absolutely precious!
One day when she was 6, she was in my room while I was getting dressed. She looked at me and put her hand on my tummy and said, "Mama, there's a baby in you." I giggled and said, "Are you calling me fat?" She gave a terribly offended sort of look and frustrated shake of her head and said, "I said there's a baby in you." I simply said, "Well, Abigail, you just might be right!" Even though I really didn't have specific suspicions about it, I found out a couple of days later that she was RIGHT.
Then I miscarried at 7 & 1/2 weeks. We hadn't announced to our kids that we were pregnant yet. No one knew, so we thought it best to keep it that way for the kids. What they didn't know wouldn't hurt them, right? If ever they saw me cry, I would just say that I was very sick and didn't feel good but that I'd be okay. The night after I came home from a doctor's visit concerning all of that Abigail spent the night with my mom. The next morning my Mom called me on the phone and said, "Shelly, I thought you weren't going to tell the kids?" I told her that we weren't and that for anyone that DID know and called the house, Whitley was making sure he took those calls outside. She told me that the previous night, when a thunderstorm came, Abigail had come to her room and said, "O'ma...I'm scared of the lightening and the thunder. But God made the lightening and the thunder. And God took the baby from mommy's tummy, but God still loves the baby and God still loves mommy, and God loves Abigail." It was then that we realized that we were being ridiculous! If there was anything our kids needed to see and learn, it was that their parents were grieving and that we value the very essence of life!
One morning when she was 7 or 8, I walked into the kitchen early in the morning and she had a wet rag that she was cleaning surfaces with. Before she knew I was there, I could hear her talking to God. Once she saw me I said, "Good morning, Abigail! What are you doing?" She replied by saying that sometimes God tells her that she should help her mom and tells her ways to show others that she loves them. I honestly don't know what I would do without her help!
Abigail when you were almost 4, I wrote you a letter in my journal that I am going to type out here today too. The journal I wrote this in was found recently after I thought I had lost it forever! It only seems fitting to put this letter here too as another place to keep it and remember.
7/18/06
My sweet, beautiful Abigail,
You are as tender as you are beautiful! I pray the sweet innocence you possess will always be upheld. You are precious! Sometimes I look at you and gasp or sigh in awe, because I just think on how God couldn't make someone more beautiful and loving. Everyone is captivated by you though; I don't think it is just me. Your Daddy & your O'pa can hardly say no to you! I try, but have to be very gentle, as you can take things too hard. You have softened me so! -In a positive way. When your tenderness meets the hard world, I pray God's strength upon you. For God is just as strong as he is beautiful and tender. He will help your heart in all things. You are a blessing... I love you.
